Okay... so wow....crazy party of drama!

it sure was an interesting end to the year if i do say. I'm sorry for puking all over the place and my general lack of composure. i hope i didn't piss anyone off too bad, if i did i'm sorry. Much love to you all.

I want to run away, but I cant...yet

Why does everything feel so daunting right now? The next 9 days seem like an impossibility. All the things i want to do are waiting behind the black curtain of april. There will be lots of fun to be had this month im sure, but it all seems like such an incredible burden.

I cant wait to go home. Im not having fun anymore. Its not just school, its not the assignments building up, its not just my living situation, Its not just the day to day, its not just the repetative, It not just nanaimo and how stuck i feel here...wait thats exactly what it is. normally in this situation i would back out, give up and move on, but im changing myself these days and the person i want to be i a lot more diligent than that. I want to be able to stick to something long enough to be successful at it(not that theatre is that thing...its just the principal of the whole thing.) Usually this is the point where i would question my nationality. maybe make a jest about being a sort of gypsy. But today I need to be more responsible for the things i do and dont do....aaaand more than that, i need to change.

Please forgive me for my easy anger these days and for my distance. Its easy to be angry about things in others which i cant change in myself. It is easy to notice faults in others when you share them. I really do love you all.