Happy New Years

This is a picture of New Years a few years ago.

I actually hate New Years Eve. My ideal New Years is cuddled up alone with a book and my own thoughts. That being said, we are having a party of sorts here with a bonfire, hot tub, and musical instruments. I'm sure it will be fine...probably even fun.

Resolutions:
* Join fencing and give it a go
* Keep up with my assignments so i don't get an ulcer
* Go on a date some time this year

Doing Nothing (with a few exceptions)

The only unfortunate thing about doing nothing for a week is that one has very little to tell people about in a blog.
I guess it is a bit of a lie that i have done nothing.
-On Saturday Rae and i went out for martinis(aka. checking out a guy we went to high school with who has become cute)
-we went dancing
-we had drinks bought for us. A first for me. However... a) I was driving so couldn't drink them and b) The bar we were in was only inhabited by people above the age of 40 so i was kind of grossed out.
-I joined Colin and his roommates when they had a bunch of people over for dinner
-I decorated the house for Christmas
-I tried out my Mom's cross country ski trails
-I made delicious Christmas cookies
-I went to an old family friends Birthday party
-I was in the hot tub under a full(and very bright)moon!

Robin is done school on Friday, which is also the day the ski hill opens.
Colin and his girlfriend are coming out on Sunday to help us get a tree.

Things are shaping up for a very enjoyable holidays.

Love to you all

perspective

It is unfortunate, i think, that while going through somethings(how vague hey?) we are uncapable of seeing the nature of those "things" realistically. For example: End of term craziness has me so wrapped up in stress, that part of me is completley convinced it will never end. However much i try, all i can think about is this daunting set of tasks in my way of going home. All other predicaments seem trivial. I know in 7 days when i get on the plane...or perhaps more likely the next day lying in my bed, i will look back and wonder how it ever seemed so impossible. I look back on some of the gut wrentching moments in my life in wonder that i got so wrapped up in them. It is strange how little those things mean to me now. Reading my sporatic journal entries, i inevitably come across depressing entry after depressing entry, and half of the events which caused such heartbreak are funny to me now. its funny how time can change our perspective on things.

However, this can work both ways...It can make things from the past seem less signifigant than they felt at the time, or it can help you realise some of the more imortant things you never gave credit to. For example: I always told myself I wasnt in love with my culinary school friend marc. I made myself believe that i fooled myself into liking him, that i was just looking for someone to get me over adam. yet, now i realise, i did love him. I realise I was denying it because I was embarassed. In actuality marc was my biggest heartbreak (couldnt eat, could sleep, couldnt breathe, couldnt think about anything else) i just got over him faster. he let me know where i stood, and i moved on. Thank god. Man I miss him, in addition to being one of the great (unrequited) loves of my life, he was also one of my very best friends, and one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

In regards to school....Im trying to change my perspective before time brings the inevitable change anyway. Id like to get there on my own this time.
Today I wondered:
How did I let myself forget I like writing exams?
how did I forget I have an opinon and a voice?
When did I forget Im not supposed to know it all, or be a perfect student?
How and when did I forget I could enjoy learning?

Im sad I probably wont get to see [m]any of you before I leave
I hope you are dealing with the stress more gracefully than I.
love always
Lisa