THE LENGTHS- THE BLACK KEYS

tell me where you're goin or
what is going wrong
I felt you leavin before
you'd even gone
and hold me now
or never ever hold me again
no more talk
can take me from this pain I'm in
see the moonlight shinin on
your window pane
see it leave you as
faithful as it came
please yourself so you
don't have to be afraid
make amends
or carry on another way
tell me what you were thinkin
to treat somebody so
the care he took the
lengths to which he'd go
coals are hot to walk
across without your shoes
but in the end
know that you got nothin to lose

More song lyrics....

Ron sexsmith-Blade of grass

I'd like to think I'm moving forward, towards a house that's built to last.
Though to you it seems I'm wandering blind, chewing on this blade of grass.

And when the wolf is at my door, I'd like to think I'm in good hands.
To all appearences I'm out of my mind, maybe I'm green as this blade of grass.

We ask ourselves these questions, where no answers can be found.
If I'm moving in the wrong direction, well I'll just turn around

I'd like to think I'm moving forward, towards a song that's built to last.
Maybe I'll never see the bottom line, maybe it's all in this blade of grass.
Though to you it seems I'm wandering blind, chewing on this blade of grass

So Tasia and i were talking at the pub yesterday about "memory trails". How we learn certain patterns and they get cemented in our brains, and then it is hard to change our "trail"/route. when we find ourselves in similar situations we tend to revert to the "path" we are already familiar with. I am sick of this "trail" i am sick of wanting so despreatly to break my bad habits and having such a hard time forming new and healthy habits.
I am scared of everything. Im scared of worthwhile things. I am really good at making excuses or alternative plans. I am really good at handling disappointment to the point that i have steered myself to many a dissapointment on purpose. I am really good at sticking to my bad habits. I am terrible at change.

I know this but I continue to follow my mislaid "trails". Being aware of your shit doesnt necessarily mean you can work through it.

"So we parted. I wrote my phone number on her palm. She said she would think of me as she washed her hands."
- A line from the book I am reading. I thought it was nicely put. I thought it was amusing.

This week of school has been good. I am settling back so fast that i seem to have skipped that period at the beginning when one is anxious to be a good student. I have skipped to that place, that usually happens after a couple of weeks, where ones decided they would rather watch karate kid 2 on youtube than read a chapter of that pricey textbook the teacher deemed worthy of eating up all our spare time.

It is he first day back to classes and i am wasting time on the computer. My first class was enjoyable. teacher has an english accent-thiss always serves to make an un exceptional looking person slightly more attractive....why is this?


I had dinner with my grandmother last night. Not being around her for 3 weeks seems to have put me out of practice for dealing with her bullshit. I almost jumped down her throat when she made some side commment to her friends about me sometimes squeezing in some time to come see her....Ahhh I see her more than any other person!


I have 3 classes back to back starting at 2:30
I guess i will start mendering over there now.........
hmmmmmm okay