Steps towards a new me

so Ive been sad lately..... yes many of you have asked why and many of you have helped to comfort me. You bless me.

Reasons i have been sad:
- Im a little homesick.
- the whole colin thing (my family means EVERYTHING to me)
- i feel like im in the wrong place doing the wrong thing yet temporarily stuck here
- i dont really feel like i belong in this whole crazy theatre world
- i worked hard on my writing assignment and i wont get marks for it. it means a lot to me because ive decided i want to be a writer way down the road and i want to do better.
- I feel like im not the person i want to be.
- i gossip too much and i hate it
- ive had a stressful week of assignments and exams
- it feels like no one around me cares about school
- i hate theatre history and feel like i wasted my money taking it
- i paid a shit load of money for school and weve hardly had any classes
- I havent had a really in depth conversation in a very long time. i have so may surface conversations
- i spend too much time in the theatre building
- i feel useless
- I spend my nights dreaming of way cooler things than i actually wake up too
- I feel like my spiritual side is starving.

AND YET:( a happier note after that downer)
- there are reasons im here right now
- Ive figured out where i want to direct myself
- you are all so supportive and caring
- I have the best class ever(ART HISTORY IS AMAZING!)
- I live by myself in the best little house ever and i love it
- my family is so supportive
- My family is amazing
- I feel like ive learned something in stagecraft this term
- ive been relatively good at sticking to my budget
- In the summer im going on a one month walking tour of England with my family
- I m getting the alone time i need
- i dont feel pressure to party so much
- I know i want God to be a bigger part of my life and im not fighting that side of me any longer
-there are amazing people and things all around me.
- Im blown away by beautiful words and moments
- my brother is with the right person to help him through this time right now
- ive seen some very pretty men lately...i should hang out in the library more often
- colin bought me season 6 of scrubs and ive already watched every episode and some of them twice.
-Im found reasons lately to believe in love again(dont get too excited, none of them have to do with me directly)
- there is a girl sitting a few computers over whose has the most ridiculous hair style and it kind of makes me warm and fuzzy inside.


anyway...much love and thanks again for the support. i felt i owed it to you to explain a little whats up.

if anyone wants to go a walking with me sometime im going to try finding some walking trails.