Steps to letting go- "You know you'll get on well once you've started over again"

Progress. That should be yesterdays headline. In so many ways yesterday was and is progress.
*The play,for one, seemed to take a step forward for the better...and i enjoyed it.
*for the fourth day in a row, i got up early to exercise, and i didnt feel like dying afterwards.
* i had a conversation with christina after rehearsal which seemed to be steps of progress for both of us. never thought i wouldnt be over him by now. i feel like i have been in the same position for sooo long. in so many ways. I have been almost over him for so friggin long. I have been at the begining of my education for so long. i have been making up my mind for so long. i have been nearly happy for so long. I have been on the edge of so many things for so long and im sick of it. And though last night did serve to stir up all the old lonlieness and some of the old feelings, i felt like christina had finally moved on, and maybe thats what i was holding on to. and maybe, thats all i needed to let go.

I hope so

Norah Jones
Don't Miss You at All

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin' laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile

So if you never come to me

You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window I see light doing dark

Your dark eyes don't haunt me

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm tough of your hand

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down

I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all

"poetry battle" award winning poem:

BEEF JERKY

Oh wonderous meat of goodness,
thou art the love of my soul.
Your dried juicy flavour caresses my taste buds
and gives joy to my tired being

You art the life giving, heartstopping
giver of pleasure

Take me away on the wings of ecstasy
As i take in the BBQed wonder
in the muscles of your essence

Be all you are...
...Be, Beef Jerky!

"I stepped out in a sunlit grove, Although deep down I wished it would rain"

And another afternoon in the library trying to avoid doing my homework. ive had a productive day thus far, full of laundry, cleaning, mailing and class.

I like raining days. i cleaned my house today listening to soft meloncholy melodic music. it makes me want to write cheesey poetry or stare out the window mournfully.. and sometimes i feel like doing that.

But now it is time to buckle down,(as my highschool english teacher was sooo fond of saying) and learn this art history stuff. I finally met up with jess...but im pretty sure her notes are useless,( i think i already have the ones she gave me...why the fuck did i think for one moment she was a good person to get notes from...my own stupid fault) so i will have to do research myself and figure it out. good thing i love it.

Kamloops:
good to see rae (we had some fun moments and a few good laughs)
good to see the ski hill(sun peaks-its cute and has a little ski villiage, and it makes me want to go skiing pretty despretly)
stayed in a nice place(a condo on the hill)
it had a hot tub
had a fun drunken evening( drank my contact lenses)
did some snowshoeing
too many hours on a bus
(crazy people on the bus are fun to laugh at secretly)
too many stupid people
(stupid people make you realse your love for not so stupid people and also makes you think...."if i dont actually like hanging out with certain people, then why do i?"

I love rae and it was good to see her but she is getting more and more bitter and more and more rude (to other people) and sometimes it makes it hard to be around her. she has caught herself in a continuous circle. she is bitter about the side effects of her own attitude. I think i am as well, and that means a slap in the face for me. snap out of it lisa. Life isnt crap!

love to you all....enjoy the meloncholy it is beautiful too

Lisa